Hi guys,
It’s your turn to speak up!
Share with us the best parenting tip that you have. Keep it short and sharp — the challenge is to say it in 140 characters or less (yeah, I know, it’s a challenge, but hey — the best advice I’ve ever got came in a few well-selected words, proven with time and experience:).
Here are the rules to submitting your tips on parenting:
- Just drop a comment below with your best tip
- Keep it short and sharp, we want concentrated wisdom — keep it to 140 characters or less
- Make sure you enter your primary email address when you comment because there’s a prize for the winner
- The readers (that’s you!) can vote for the best tips by suggesting which one you like best in the comment section. It will take just a couple minutes to scroll through the entries and give them either a “thumbs up” or a “thumbs down.” The stories with the most thumbs ups will get selected for the ‘finals’
- Based on the votes, we’ll choose the winner who will be getting an gift for his/her tip!
Now listen up! The winner of the Parenting Tip competition is getting Total access to Shelly Lefkoe’s master parenting course for FREE together with the personal consultation that comes along with it.
Shelly is the author of author of Chicken Soup for the Soul’s Effective Parenting and you probably remember her for the article The 10 Things Parents Do That Sabotage Their Children’s Happiness And Success. I have had read her work and had numerous personal consultations (which I will tell you about in a later post!).
Sounds easy enough, right?
I’ve already asked some of my friends to take the challenge and here’s (after some concentrated thinking:) what they said. I love it already:
Irina:
Your child is a little genius, remember that all the time. He needs your help to enhance his potential, so don’t be lazy, practice every day and you see results very soon!
Michelle:
Learn to pick your fights wisely.
Liz:
Believe in your child. She’s gonna be just fine because you believe in her and encourage to try again if she fails in her first attempt.
So what are you waiting for? Give it some thought and send it over!
Challenge their mind-Encourage their dreams-Support their health-Treat them with respect-Laugh with ‘em till it hurts-Love them unconditionally-EVERYDAY
I have a child of 10-11 years age.She is a she baby. The most important thing I teach her is meditation and daily prayer.
Praise, a lot and often. A child loves this and will look for more ways to receive it from you. It is easy to criticize and discipline, the challenge is to notice the moments to praise!
Everyday as they go out the door to school, tell them you love them. Every night as they go to bed, tell them you love them. You can never tell a child that you love them too much.
Be your child’s advocate. Stand up for them and stand beside them in everything they do. They will then have the courage to face the world knowing your there for them.
A very practical tip and this will also boost the child’s confidence
Encourage and support them in all areas of their life. Cheer them on and show them that you are their BIGGEST fan!
First BE true to yourself, kids always KNOW when you are not… We always tell our little guy he is amazing, wonderful and VERY loved!! We converse with him not at him, we appreciate him everyday!
They pick every details on how we live , behave and carry ourselves from day to day so be the best example to them and they will emulate.
Love without spoiling, provide without neglecting, discipline without degrading, & most of all, accept & allow them to be who they are without judgement & with boundaries.
Always, always let your child know that your eyes light up whenever you see them. Smile! You did when they were babies, don’t stop!
They will feel loved and that is so important.
I do this even now and my children are 30 and 28yo. I have a fantastic relationship with both my son and my daughter.
There is so much to being a good parent but love is the starting point.
Stop and actually listen to your child’s words. More often than not they have wisdom we miss.
My tip is: Listen to what they are telling you without judgment. Really listen.
Love and forgive yourself ,it all starts with you. Dont be hard on yourself even if others once were, forgive all things. Start fresh along with your child.
Treat everyone the way you want to be treated.
Parenting is not a popularity contest. Sometimes you must make unpopular decisions. It’s in the best interest of your child. Don’t expect them to validate you.
Buy some EAR PLUGS!, When you have stated a decision which calls for fireworks, put them in, keep smiling and then enjoy the peace… at least for yourself. One way to maintain your integrity and teach integrity. Also useful for meaningful adults who talk as if they know your child better than you, including your mother.
When a child plays allow them to use and explore their “toy” for their own purpose don’t start to pigeon hole its use or stifle creativity.
Accept and acknowledge all feelings – both your child’s and your own. But limit actions by providing choices.
Praise your kids when they have done something good,say you are proud of them.Support them when they need you in times of trouble and they will always love you.
See your children as a teacher. Every day is a day that you can learn something new from them.They are the future, and I hope, seeds for the better world.
Accentuate the positive, downplay the negative. Praise what you want to see and bite your tongue with behavior you don’t want to see.
Treat your children as if it was your last day on earth!
Although my son is 14 now, I have always taught the importance of sharing. I don’t believe it is healthy to have an excess of material stuff. So whenever new things came in, he would pick a few things to move on to others less fortunate. Now when he wants to manifest something in his life he makes room for it, and it appears. Life is all about balance.
Master these two things: listen, really listen, to everything they share, and never ever forget what it felt like to be a child.
Love never spoiled a child.
Catch them doing something good,reward or praise thier accomplishments,good deeds,behavior faster than you do the negative stuff, Always remain calm in trying/upsetting and disciplining times when dealing with your Children, make an effort to have as many meals at the Table together with everyone that lives in the household,Model respect and honesty.
words are more powerfull than you know9 dont refer to your children as kids ( a kid is a baby goat, an animal, Your child is not an animal dont project it on them)
Speak to your kids the way you would like to be spoken to, particularly when giving feedback about feelings and behaviour that feels challenging. And remind them how much you love them for everything they are no matter what.
When my 10 yr old makes a bad choice I role play with him by asking him what he would do if his son made that choice. It helps him to think of things from a new perspective.
When our children asked if they could do something or go somewhere we asked “Is there any reason not to?” They knew if their work was done, or if the thing they asked about was within the family rules or not. It was a good exercise in accountability and honesty.
Let kids just be kids. Playing, dancing and laughing together with them enhances the connection and closeness between the kids and the parents. Definitely it will made the kids feel good and the parents feel great!
I call this special time with my kids.
I am not a parent as yet but I have had the chance to work with children of different ages at different events. My tip is never compare your child with another. Work through his/her weaknesses but never never compare him/her with anyone else. And listen to them – it makes a big difference for them as well as you.
Trust your children to know what is best for them. Allow them to make their own choices and offer them unconditional acceptance whether they fail or succeed.
Children need and want structure in their life. Make clear rules and stick to them. Explain the reason for each rule. Exceptions are ok but every time these must be clearly communicated and agreed upon.
Plus, never forget how it felt to be a child!
Every child has a unique gift. It is for the parent to recognize and nurture it.Spend time observing,loving and supporting your child to discover the special gift that God has bestowed on him/her. Help them to recognize and reach their full potential.
Always, always, always come from your heart.
Stop taking it all so seriously. Let your child teach you to play… and then PLAY!
Never squash your child’s dream for their own future no matter how silly it may seem to you otherwise they will lose the gift of imagination as so many do. Also, encourage them to never give up on their dreams even if it seems that it will take too long because the time will pass anyways.
Give your children a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables in their natural state,
you will feed their body anf nourish their soul.
We don’t own our children – we are just caretakers of our children. Let them follow their dreams not their parent’s dreams. Every child is born in light – let their light shine as bright as possible, let them be in control of their own destiny.
We don’t own children, parent’s are caretakers. Each child is born in light let them shine bright, let them follow their own destiny not their parent’s destiny.
Parent’s don’t own children, parents are caretakers. Children are born in light – let them follow their own destiny.
Teach children to view the energy and intention behind words and situations.
They will understand that Einstein’s Bagel’s shop has energy closer to that of a library rather than a playground. They will understand that just because they made no sound and did not touch her, it is not okay to stare maniacally at their sister til she’s in hysterics. They will understand that when mom says “I need a time out” she really means “fix your behavior so I don’t have to”.
I strive to nurture, stimulate their minds, love unconditionally, validate, encourage, inspire, teach, respect, and raise happy healthy kids!
Remember that children are children … they need to be loved, cherished, nurtured and respected – they also need boundaries and consequences. This will enable them to grow into confident, productive, self-disciplined adults.
Give your children gifts that will last them all their lives. The gift love, the gift of self-esteem, the gift of perserverance, the gift of self-knowledge and the gift of your time.
Plant the seeds of greatness now and your gift will keep giving in many generations to come.
Children naturally emulate their parents. Walk your talk – showing consistent daily effort and positive attitude, make dreams come true. Overcome obstacles together.
Set a positive tone: start by turning on their favorite music to dance and laugh with them. Limit the TV and computer games. Encourage exploration through reading, researching, writing, calculating, sports, artistic expression, etc. Love from beginning to end.
Sometimes its better to let go of what you think you know about parenting (or anything for that matter). Be open. And, If sometimes you can’t seem to get it right, than don’t be afraid to follow someone who’s getting it right. :)
MC
There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Do the best you can in every moment and let them know how loved they are, in action not only in words.
When my son acts inappropriately I make sure he understands that it was his decision/choice/action that was bad and not him. He is an amazing, one-of-a-kind human being who made a mistake and has an opportunity to learn and grow.
Forgive yourself when you find you “sound just like your parents.” No one is perfect, remember we all do the best we can, when we can and next time we can do better. Your children will learn from your failures and resolve to do better, just as much as you will. Forgive yourself your imperfections.
Do what you say, and say what you mean. Otherwise your child will see right through you.
Listen to your children. Fifty percent of communication is listening.
Remember that growing up is practice for being a competent adult whom is confident and able to make a good solid decision. From the very begginning give them choices about things that they have the power to control. ie What color socks red or white? Let them get as much practice as possible. The older they get the tougher the choices that will present to them. You can guide them and give advice, but ultimately they are the one that make the final decisions. But follow through, and let them face the consequences of their choices, good or bad. That is where the learning comes in. A few negative consequences from someone other then you and they will quickly learn that actions always carry consequences. Never yell at or judge your child when the wrong choice has been made, let the natural consequences do the work, just discuss the ordeal and show them how they could have reacted, calmly and with love. Then your child will grow up with confidence and self esteem.
Remember that they don’t actually belong to you and that you have been honoured for a time to have been given charge of this magnificent being.
So…..Equip yourself with the knowledge to teach them and patience to love and groom them for life.
Share with your children, your knowledge, your insights and your experience of the world, and let them share theirs with you. All through that sharing celebrate and grow in mutual love. Delight in them at every moment and sparkle with the glow of intense happiness. Make sure that they know how powerful they are as creators of that joy for you, and remember that you create it for them too!
Ask this question constantly:
What are my children likely to conclude about themselves and life as a result of this interaction we just had?
I saw this somewhere and loved it. I have it posted in my kitchen. It really helped put situations in perspective. I have felt a shift from reactive to ‘I wonder’. (reacting to what choices they are making or appear to be making to I wonder why?… or I wonder if?)
LOVE your child with true love that comes into your heart from THE SOURCE OF ALL LIFE AND LOVE. Allow this love to guide your mind from your heart so that you will relate with your child’ren from the place of truth and they will feel loved no matter whether its tender or soft love you show them
Correction above. I meant “whether it’s tender or tough love you show your children”.
Always tell them the truth…. never, never lie. Respect them and love them.
Great advice Liesl!
Encourage healthy internal talk; how to appreciate and how to follow their intuition.
Being in the moment is one of childhood’s great gifts. We adults, if we know how, can almost always find them there.
“Childbirth” is Gods way of teaching us to be in His shoes.I teach my children the Law of Attraction and The art of visulization.We practice this daily.I teach them to be grateful to God for everyday of their life.Our paryers are more thanksgiving than requesting.As a family we enjoy “Life” as the natures biggest blessing.
Tell your child you want them to do whatever makes them happy. When you are happy life opens to infinite possibilities.
Love love love your child and teach them to take responsibility for their actions. Good or bad. Praise them and let them feel good for good but let them know the wrong and teach them how to make the wrong good again.
You, as an adult be a child and PLAY your life away! Let them know that adults, work, chores, team work, and problem solving can be fun so that when they fly, they know the world is safe and there are only lessons and opportunities, not failures.
I worked at many jobs as a young father.Mostly i was broke,hence could not buy many of the things my little 8yrs. old son and 2yrs. old daughter asked for.But i was never ashamed of being poor.I confided in them.My honesty was so transparent they always not only accepted but sympathized with me and to make me feel good they’d often say”you know dad i didn’t actually like that thing”.I would then give them that very admiring look which had so many messages” you are truly,truly special,you’re so understanding and sooo loving that at this very moment i could actually just die for you”.And believe me little kids are so good at telepathy they understood and appreciated every bit of that message.And till today when they are parents themselves we have such great understanding.So much is said with so little words.
Whenever my daughter shares thoughts she’s heard from teacher or friends that are contrary to our beliefs we have a “Time Out Session”. I explain to her what we believe and most importantly why we believe what we do.
It is not just a matter of do as I say, but do as I say and as I do. I am the role model I want her to look up to and to follow. Our “Time Out Sessions” are precious memories to her and to me. No one can take them from us. They are our special time together as father and daughter.
Children are so special. They have knowledge that some people so often just let go by, don’t grasp their messages. Pay attention, they will tell you so much, with honesty, love, tenderness, fun, and possibly a little naivety.
Always remember who the parent is.
presence, i strive to be present in my children’s lives. quietly, conversationally, with silly antics or stoic demeanor, interactive, standing by, providing for or allowing the mother of invention, curiosity, to hold sway…i am mom, mims, maude, marmi, poontoon, mother duck, i am for each one, the parent, teacher, friend, advisor, counsel, true fan!
and because i trust these dearest treasures must fully belong to themselves, i am willing to step back or aside and allow them their lives, praying God’s faithfulness over all.
Don’t forget that they are people too and make sure they know no matter what they came here to do, we will not judge them and be there with them every step of the way.
Pick your no’s. In other words, chose your battles carefully.
Believe in your children. Learn to never ask a question you already know the answer to.
Live and Teach by Example, and give 10 minutes 2 times a day dedicated one-on-one time between you and each child with no one else around, doing something they love like reading a book, going for a bike ride, painting etc
Kiss them and hug them every day, even without words. It’s an uspoken truth of unconditional love which they will carry with them forever.
Our children are gifts to not only the parents, the Universe also, to be respected with infinite unconditional love, patience and understanding. I believe one of the most important things I always aspired to do was be more of a coach than a critic.
LOVE TO ALL Moms and precious children.
Have your kids draw a picture or write it down for the tough to talk about issues! It makes them feel safe to not have to verbalize their question or feelings. To start you can ask yes or no questions about the drawing/writing until they feel comfortable giving more details. My daughter is 9 now and this has been a great communication tool for us through the years for akward or embarassing questions.
Lead by example. Everything I have done to help myself be a better person has been more powerful than any outside authority. Children are souls with their own wisdom. My kids have learned from me and I have learned from them. Sharing soul-to-soul starts with respect at a deep level.
I’ve noticed that my 7 year old daughters love language is the written word. She is always making thoughtful cards for me and her friends. I include a little note in her lunch box (cut up xmas cards), telling her how much I love her, how wonderful she is, and I miss her when she is at school. She’s the only one who gets a note!
I started doing it to compensate for the lack of branded/expensive lunchbox items, but it has gone further than I had imagined. She reminded me twice this week that she hasn’t had a card for a while. So I included one today, with extra love hearts, kisses and smiley faces.